At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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