The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
