Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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