I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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