It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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