oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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