Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
