I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
