Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
worst night to have a conscience
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
