i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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