Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
