How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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