Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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