Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
