he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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