you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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