If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
