my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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