her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
