i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
