so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize