rhymes with "ouble enetration"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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