ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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