oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
