he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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