It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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