honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
