So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
