In the future we'll all be gay
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
