I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
