I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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