So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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