he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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