Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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