last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
