i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
