party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
