We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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