ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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