my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize