How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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