I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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