I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
