Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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