sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize