Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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