Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
