Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
