Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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