Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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