Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think my moral compass just broke
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
