Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
