i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
