He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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