I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
