a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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