Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
