i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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