Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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