and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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